What was your first major award? Was it a sport, a scholastic achievement, a professional accomplishment? Were you aiming for it, or did it come as a surprise?

There’s something undeniably satisfying about being recognized and singled out. Watching the Olympics every 2 to 4 years, it’s hard not to be caught up in the dramas that play out on the field, pool, or arena. But even more compelling are the personal stories of the athletes. People who have trained their whole lives to overcome adversity and push themselves to be on the most prominent stages in the world. You don’t need to like sports to admire the excellence and effort on display.

It’s likely that many of these athletes could have lived happy and healthy lives with a lot less work and sacrifice. So what motivates someone to dig deep and live out their dreams?

The People You Want to Motivate

You may or may not know an Olympian. But you probably have friends, family, members, employees, or colleagues that you’d like to see do better, show up more consistently, be more committed to your relationship, and live up to their potential.

How have you tried to get them to behave as you’d like? Did you use flattery, praise, criticism, consequences? Did you tell them what results you wanted to see? If you’re still reading, we are guessing they probably missed the mark, to their frustration and yours.

Maybe you saw some improvement, but after awhile, they reverted back to their habitual behaviors. We know firsthand how difficult it is to sustain growth ourselves. How much more difficult is it then for us to motivate others and effect lasting change in them?

Repetition Repetition Repetition

The French word for “rehearsal” is “répétition”. The more we repeat certain actions, attitudes, and behaviors, the more we build on them. Anything you master in life is often the result of hours of dedicated practice. And the best way to motivate repetition is…

REWARDS!

Think about those Olympians. They started racking up accolades long before they ever made it onto the podium. Undoubtedly, they were encouraged early on by someone who saw their potential. They started winning, and sought to win more. They spent countless hours honing their skills and seeing the results of their efforts.

Imagine the person you deal with every day – perhaps the person who frustrates you – might be a medal winner waiting to happen. What would it look like if you sought to identify and reward their good behavior, successes, and improvement?

How might that change how you treat them? Would you engage them differently? It’s likely that at some point in your life, someone saw you not as you were, but as you could be. A parent, a teacher, a boss, a friend rewarded and celebrated your growth, which motivated you to apply yourself even more. And you started to become the person they knew you could be.

As you look to reward people, be sure to fit the prize to the person. Some of us love words of affirmation, others respond to gifts, others have a favorite activity or treat. Don’t just do things that would motivate you. Suit the reward to the rewardee!

If you’d like to better engage the people around you, Unravel: Relationships can equip you to do just that – at home, at work, and in the world.

Remember, what’s rewarded is repeated!